(Originally published 11th April, 2007)
Ever wondered why you seem to keep on experiencing the same sorts of events over and over? Or when you get out of one relationship with someone, you end up back in a relationship with someone just like the one you had trouble with last time?
It’s often struck me as kinda funny the way life works. Just when you think you’re finally over the pain of the last mistake you made, something happens which triggers off a massive explosion of emotion that brings all that old pain right back to the surface, as though it never left. I’ve done it, and I’ve been on the receiving end of someone else’s explosion. Believe me, that’s not much fun either.
So, why does it happen? Why do we torture ourselves with hanging onto this old baggage, only to have to come up at the worst possible time and screw things up for us when things are starting to look good?
Basically, it’s because we haven’t managed to learn the lesson that we were supposed to learn the last time. In our lives, we make certain decisions along the way that might not be beneficial to us. Sure, they might work out OK in the short term, but they might not be any good for us in the bigger scheme of things. We make our decisions based on thoughts and feelings that we have, ones that we hold to be true.
But sometimes, those thoughts might not be true at all. They might fit the facts as we know them, but often we’re filling in the blanks with stuff that we just make up. A lot of the time, it may not have any basis in reality at all. Because of that, we can end up making bad decisions and that can have a negative impact on our lives. If we continue to hold those same thoughts as the truth, then we’ll continue to make the same basic decisions over and over again, often with the same bad results.
So, what’s the answer? I guess it’s to become aware of when you’re going around the mountain again. If you find that you’re trapped in what looks like your own personal version of Groundhog Day, then it’s basically the universe smacking you upside the head and trying to get you to change your mind about something. The best thing to do in situations like that to take a long hard look at what you’re thinking and feeling and start looking for alternatives.
Often there’s going to be one. Sometimes you’ll see the alternative straight away and you’ll be able to make a better decision and get past the problem quickly. Other times, you’re going to need to have the universe clobber you a few more times before things become clear. Every time we fail and make the same mistakes that we made last time, it’s an opportunity to learn a new way to approach the problem. Make some new, more beneficial decisions and you’re life will change for the better.
We often find that we attract the same sorts of people into our lives, so that we can get another opportunity to learn the right way to do something. Sometimes we attract the people who can show us where we’re going wrong, so that we can make better choices and get rid of some of the emotional baggage that we’ve been carrying around for years that’s been – deep down – making us miserable. Once we finally jettison that baggage, we experience real freedom and life becomes a lot easier all round.
So, the next time you find yourself going around the mountain again, sit down and take a look at the scenery. Maybe you’ll spot a new trail to take that will lead you down in the valley.